And So I’m Back…


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Not quite from outer space, but hey, it’s been a few years huh?

And today I’ve found myself looking to relieve some stress, so I turned back to writing. Hell I even posted on FanFiction today! (Yeah I know, amazing huh?!) Do you wanna know why? Well I’m gonna tell you anyway so… here goes,

I first found FanFiction because of fifty shades of grey, it was fun and frivolous and I could be anonymous there. No one could judge me (or so I naively thought, but if you’ve read anything else on this blog you’ll know that’s not entirely true, curse you trolls!) and I could find my creativity doing something new. I even created my own Facebook page as my FanFiction alter ego, and this here blog too. I also found a large community of women like me, inspired by E.L. James to write about love, maybe not your run of the mill boy meets girl they fall in love and live happily ever after stuff but then it takes all sorts to make the world go round. I found my solice in a FSOG FanFiction group, run by other creative women (and men!) at one point I even helped run the group before becoming a complete cow and throwing all my toys out of my pram and leaving the group over something completely silly and irrelevant. I knew for months I was in the wrong but I’m a proud woman and well it’s hard to admit to people, ones that had started off as strangers but had slowly but surely become my friends. In the end I did go back, and was accepted back into the fold, after an apology on my behalf. I learned a lot from that and stayed quietly on the sidelines only really commenting infrequently, so infrequently that I logged out, of it all, no twitter, no Facebook, no blog, and no FanFiction.

For about two years… until recently when another ff group had a similar incident practically imploding on itself, as is often the cast when you get a lot of people in one chat all passionate. I was not a member of this group, and sadly I’m glad of that as I know how that shit goes. On the plus side it’s given the original group I was in a bit of a shake, we all seem to be awake now and wanting to share again which is brilliant, I feel like I’ve got my little FanFiction family back. It even inspired me to write, not a lot mind you but 800 words is more than I’ve written in years!

I don’t want to sit back anymore, I want to get back to writing, it’s fun, calming and it eases my stress levels while I’m being creative, I need this in my life again. I may still post infrequently but isn’t that the point? I only post when I’ve got stuff to say, words that need let out, that don’t care if no one reads them. This blog is about me, my point of view, I don’t conform to the norm, why the hell should I? I have a voice it may be a quiet one or sometimes it may be a loud one, does it matter? All that matters is me using it, and I will! Trust me I will, 2017 is my year, and it’s not going to be a quiet one!

2014 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,100 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Fifty Shades of Trolling! Grrrrrrrr!!!!


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So, as many of you, or maybe none of you are aware, I’ve developed a troll problem recently… *carrie turns and yells something behind her and one of her little minions hand her a spray can*
I’ve been using a LOT of this!

I’m surprised I’ve not choked on it!
But it did get me thinking, what the hell is a troll? I mean what function do they provide? Is there any time that trolling is good? I have also found the answers to these questions.

1. A troll is someone that gets a kick out of baiting people on the Internet, and once they have you hooked they just keep reeling you in! They pop up in forums, in comment sections and on fanfiction websites (where I met mine).

2. The function of a troll is to make your life a living hell until you back down or move away from the topic. Their aim is to get THEMSELVES as much publicity as possible. In essence the more you reply, the happier the troll, and if others get involved to defend you the troll has yet more victims!

3. To me trolling is never good. Who wants to revel in the misery of others? That’s not right…in fact that’s slightly disturbed!

A troll is a bully by a different term! Bullying isn’t tolerated, no one pats a bully on the back and says Well Done here have a pat on the back for ruining this persons life, so why is trolling not taken more seriously? It’s cyber-bulling and can border on harassment!

One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument. (As defined by the Urban Dictionary)

I found this helpful pictorial guide as to what a troll may look like…


It’s not the most helpful and slightly taking the piss, if no one takes this seriously, how are we gonna get rid of them? Yes it’s fine to say that they are all children but who knows? Does it change what’s happened even if the perpetrator is a child? If it is children where are the parents? Some of these individuals are not children messing about though.

Some of these people take it further, almost obsessing about their current victim… If this was happening in reality (instead of virtual reality) wouldn’t that be stalking? Finding out everything about someone and using it to your advantage… Definitely stalking!

I’d have to say I disagree with the term troll I’m gonna stick with bully, because that’s what they are!

1. bully
Pronunciation: /ˈbʊli /
NOUN (plural bullies)

A person who uses strength or influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker:
he is a ranting, domineering bully
VERB (bullies, bullying, bullied)

Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force them to do something:
a local man was bullied into helping them
(As defined by the Oxford Dictionaries)

Carrie J 🌹❀️

It’s Summer! Whoop whoop!


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πŸ˜„πŸ˜„ summer, the time of sunshine, exploring the great outdoors and getting away from it all. πŸ˜„πŸ˜„

So yep, we have sunshine here! It’s warm, pleasantly warm, not too hot (unlike on our holiday, which I’ll get to in a minute) it’s beautiful! The windows are all open, the smell of freshly cut grass blowing through. If only it didn’t trigger the hay fever! (Atchoo πŸ˜ͺ)

So, as for exploring the great outdoors, so far I think I’ve walked for miles! I’ve walked along beaches, meandered by rivers, traipsed around towns that I don’t know! We have only been on holiday for a week! But we have plans, we are climbing mountains, swimming in rivers and visiting yet more beaches! (Can you see a theme!)

So onto my holiday! The Jay family visited the south east of England! (Yeah a really unpleasant EIGHT hour drive there and an even worse almost ELEVEN hour drive home!) where it’s absolutely scorching! 27 degrees! Well obviously we picked that day to go for a round of pitch and putt, and I’m burnt to a crisp, still, it was FIVE days ago! Gah!

The laundry pile is frighteningly large! I mean obscene!

Oh and sad news, I can’t remember if I told y’all about getting my wee fish, three little platy fish. Well now I’ve got one of the original trilogy left, as poor sparky and L’Oriel both died 😭, however before L’Oriel carked it she gave birth to approx 20 babies! We have approx 7 left! (Those little fuckers are hard to count!) so not all sad.

Anyway, I’ve got a fanfiction recommendation for you! Secrets Of The Heart by the amazing BabyGurl2012. I’ve almost finished it and by jings it’s a roller coaster of emotions! It’s an A/U story, with lots of twists and turns when you least expect them! Oh and I should mention Christian is a cowboy…. Mmmmmm! Even better, the sequel is in production! Also, she has loads of other fabulous stories! Check her out in the links provided!

Till next time

Carrie Jay 🌹

Currently reading Secrets of the Heart, My Life as a Sub, The Darkest Shade of Grey, Sunsets, all recommended! Check them out and leave these amazing girls amazing reviews! Oh and I’m still trying to get into Sylvia Days most recent Gideon and Eva outing, Entwined With You. It’s not going well….

Ooops! I forgot about you! NOT β€οΈπŸ’™πŸ’›πŸ’œπŸ’šπŸ’—πŸŒΉπŸŒΉπŸ’—πŸ’šπŸ’œπŸ’›πŸ’™β€οΈ


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So… Erm…. (Think of an excuse, think of an excuse!) I’ve not been here in a while duh! The readers ain’t stupid and have noticed!

Well we can gloss over the fact that I’ve been MIA for the past two months and move onto what’s new with me… Short answer, not much!

Unless of course you count hormonal little girls and testosterone fuelled pre-teen boys! I swear the level of violence between my daughters is unbelievable, it’s not quite as bad as the smell of hormonal boy that seems to have permeated the walls of their bedroom and my bloody carpet! Ewww!! They seem to live in an eternal cavern of darkness lit only by the glow of the xbox fired tv, showing predominantly images of minecraft (the dig holes and explore/live in caves from what I can guess, much like real life)

Now though they have reached the age of sexual health being taught to them in school, HELL, NOTHING, AND I MEAN NOTHING, can prepare you for your son walking in and revealing that, today in school we learned about wanking. Jings! When I was his age (11) we got put in a room with an awkward woman that told us girls have ‘openings’ and with correct positioning of a hand held mirror we could see them. No details of what this mythical ‘opening’ led to or what the fuck it was, passed the old bird’s lips. (We did get given pamphlets though, with erm…interesting(?) diagrams! All I’m saying is after that “chat” Judy Blume’s Are you there god it’s me, Margaret was checked out by every girl I knew! So sex ed has improved somewhat (I’m recovering from child 4’s outburst about penis’ and clitoris’ SHE WAS SIX!!!!!!)

I think I’m handling them growing up better than I thought I would though. I mean, I have four of them and they are mostly clean and mostly tidy, apart from the odd chat about sex or poo over dinner, I think they are normalish.

Crap, I’ve just rambled on about my kids! Oops! You see why I’m distracted though!

Oh BIG NEWS!!? (Sorry, not an update of a story yet, I’m working on it but it won’t flow, much like this rambling blog post…) Anyhoo, BIG NEWS, the house of Jay is expanding! We are officially expecting any time now! Unfortunately, we are expecting our pet goldfish to give birth… Now for anyone who has met me, I’m an animal lover, but I don’t love them enough to have one myself. Mr Jay and the little Jays talked me into itπŸ˜±πŸ˜¨πŸ˜•πŸ˜So we have Sparky (boy fish) Oreo (boy fish) and preggo fish (courtesy of Oreo) L’Oriel (because my hubby named her, and thinks she’s worth it… cue tumbleweed drifting on by his sense of humour knows no beginning!) Before you ask, no I didn’t see the fish going at it, he was just very possessive of her! So we may have fry very soon, don’t worry about them though, I’ve already lined up some homes and have a local pet shop willing to take them too.

Anyway I’m gonna go, feed my fishes and check on preggo fish. Dieting sucks, so I stopped. I’m gonna TRY to get a bit fitter and see how that goes. Night night all

Carrie Jay 🌹

P.S. I will try to update something soon x Oh and go read Fifty shades slow and steady on fanfiction. It’s AAAAAAAMMMMMAAAAZZZZIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!

Springtime is in the air! πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸŒ·πŸŒ·πŸŒžπŸŒžπŸ‘πŸ‘


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I can hear the shrieks of my girls from here! Boys out with their mates playing football, yes it’s definitely Spring! (That and the fact that my daughter wanted to wear a summer dress with no tights!) Oh and the neighbourhood kids have descended on my house! (Just call me the pied piper!)

Crochet class was a blast! I’m tasked with making a babushka… (A Russian doll for folk like me that didn’t know what that was) I think it’s going to be quite a challenge! I’ll need to get some red wool, oh and the pattern! One of the ladies in my class is crocheting hats! I can’t wait to try that, they look so sweet! (I want one… Not for the kids, for me!)

I had a lovely stroll home, there is something so invigorating about walking in the sunshine (even if it is chilly) I feel so much brighter today! Still got a rumbling head but that’s life! Oh on the plus side no heartburn today (Yet, I’m not jinxing myself!) the Gaviscon is sitting in the cupboard waiting like a good boy.

So, how’s your life going? I haven’t heard from you all in ages. What’s your weather doing? Are you excited about Easter? (I saw the cutest little crocheted chicks in half egg shells…all in a wee egg box, too cute! I know random but I loved them!) are you still liking my blog? Is there anything missing? I miss the interaction from you all!

So I’m still trying to get a new job, oh and my shitty car isn’t fixed! (Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!) I’m soooo glad I didn’t hold my breath!

I’ll see you all tomorrow x

🌹Carrie Jay🌹

First outside laundry day!


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So today was an exciting day in the house of Jay! I got a wash dried outside on my line and it smells lush!

Fresh Scottish springtime in a sheet! Mmmmmmm! The sun has shone today, in fact, I didn’t need my coat to pick the kids up from school (I did take it with me though, I’m not that daft!) my maw-in-law sticks by her old rhyme

Never shed a cloot, till May is oot!
(Never remove your coat outside until May has passed)

I’ve seen her sweat through many a hot day but she sticks with her saying! Me though, I see a glimmer of sun and feel a small amount of heat and off comes the coat and out come the summer dresses and sandals! I’m Scottish, blue is my natural colour, if I’m just a bit darker than a milk bottle I’m doing great!

(Obviously I’m just like this! A wee bitty o semi-skimmed, okay so maybe it’s more like full fat but I’m happy!)

So, my car should (keeping fingers, toes, legs and whatever else I can crossed) be back on the road tomorrow night! (I’m obviously not holding my breath, I’d die before the engine started!)

So cheers all I’m off to toast you all with a bottle of the hard stuff (yip, you guessed it vodka/whisky/rum friggin Gaviscon! The joys of getting older, fucking heartburn! Gah!!!!!) I’m pouring it now…

So I’ll try to pop in tomorrow, but I’ve got my crochet class (I’m trying to make a scarf…)

20140311-192133.jpg it’s not quite finished yet… (Though not bad for someone who’s only had two classes!)

So night all, I have my Gaviscon in hand… Cheers!

🌹 Carrie Jay 🌹

P.S. Story recommendation for today is Lights, Camera, Ana by Candiefloss (author page on fanfiction HERE) It’s fab! Link to the story HERE. Go read and enjoy!

I’m baaaaaack!!!


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Hey guys and gals, I’m back… Dunno where I buggered off to but I’m back now!

No one has asked for any advice… Hmmm do you think I’d be mean or something? (P.S had to change the email to carriej_56@ I forgot the bloody password for the old one…whoops! Anywho, I’m here to inspire the world with my usual wit and charm, oh and the odd bit of advice will be thrown in (even if you don’t actually want it!) here’s one for free, NEVER EVER EVER buy a Renault Espace! Mine is a heap of steaming shite that spends more time sitting in the driveway than actually going places! Anyone up for a swap?

Yeah, didn’t think so!

So, it’s almost that time of year again… The Easter Holidays (I feel that this should be followed by a dramatic DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!) yes, that time of year when the school gives your kids two yes you did read that right two weeks off! Oh and then other people give them chocolate eggs… So not only are your offspring under your feet, they are also on a sugar high… oh joy! the whole Easter thing has become totally commercialised by chocolate companies, I mean when I was a kid (and before you ask no it wasn’t in the dark ages no!) we boiled proper eggs…then symbolically rolled them down a hill (after painting a face or such like onto them, so you could identify your pile of mush at the bottom, bit of a waste really) I get that this was the stone being rolled away from the tomb of Jesus (in the Christian faith at least, I’m not really religious, not dissing anyone who is either. You have a right to believe what you want… Hubby’s choice is to not believe in science… I have no words for that man! No words at all!) but where did the egg appear from? I mean it’s fuck all like a stone! Easter would be a lot cheaper if we all rolled stones down hills, there would be a lot less clean up for the local councils too! Then comes the Easter bunny, who the fuck invented that? Probably the same prick that thought up Santa Claus and the fucking Tooth Fairy, all out there to con money out of us stupid saps parents! Now I seem totally bah humbug, don’t I? I’m not honestly, I like Christmas, we have the family round and it’s…nice, I don’t get why we feel pressured into buying gifts for each other? It’s over commercialisation! So this year I’m not doing it! will be no different to any other ill totally cave in and buy the damn eggs, I won’t be happy but my darling little offspring will.

Oh so back to my life now… Still hating my car (I swear it tried to kill me today!) but hey ho there you go!

Gotta go put on a wash, I hate laundry, it’s never bloody ending! Grrrrrrrrrr!

See you around

🌹 Carrie Jay 🌹

So who wants advice?


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This will be completely unprofessional advice (I will not answer medical queers, take them to the Doctor!) I will offer help with relationships, and children, and accept help from you all!

I may even pose a dilemma and get your advice on it (just so you can get hints from each other etc…) Dr (not actually a REAL doc) K will also be available for comment from time to time…

So if you have any queries, questions, or just want some general advice, in the words of Dr Frasier Craine

I’m listening

Pm me or email

Hope to hear from you soon

Carrie Jay x

Happy New Year! In with the new and out with the old!


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So…. Sorry, I’ve seriously not abandoned this, erm, much!

I’ve just been busy and well, you know how December is! It’s that one month that just flies past and then there’s the fat guy that comes on his sleigh and delivers far too many pressies! Even as I’m writing this I’m distracted by The Sound of Music (it’s my ALL TIME fave film!) I’m a romantic sap… Yes I know I don’t seem it but, well, looks can be deceiving!

So on looking back at 2013 I’ve many things to note, my family for being there! Dr K and all her crazy being the bestest friend I could ask for! All my online friends that have become more like besties too! The amazing talented Bronze Goddess, Victoria Rose, Kirsty Still, Steffie Dawn and all the other amazing girls on! The girls in my many Facebook groups, including all of you in my “diet” group….hmmm, not sure it’s working too well! (I’m still fluctuating between horrible numbers that I’m unwilling to share!)

So, well I’m still here, I’m gonna try to write something at least once a week on a variety of things (no doubt door closure will be a recurring topic! They just never bloody learn!) and hopefully do more interviews with some of the amazing people in my life, hey I might even get Dr K to share her words of wisdom once in a while answering your questions (She’s just as balmy as I am btw!) oh, a monthly agony aunt page… Well if you send me questions that is! I’ll get an email account for that!

So I’ll see you all soon! Hope you all have a fab 2014!

Carrie Jay x